Heroin Fix
by alleiya
Summary: A one-shot about the conversation in Midnight Sun between Tanya and Edward. In Tanya's POV. Maybe Edward wasn't the first to use the line "You are my heroin" Read & Review please.


**AN: This is just something I was curious about, im still new to writing so please review and tell me what you think. Honest opinions welcomed. I really want to know how I did.**

**Alleiya xo**

TPOV:

I stood up on the tip of a black rock balancing there; searching for him. I was no fool; I know exactly what I looked like and how my beauty affected men.

Except him. I stood there with my long blonde curls shining almost a pale pink from the moonlight and my skin glowing a mysterious silver. And then I saw him and my lips stretched into a smile as I spotted him. I saw him laying there underneath the stars. Looking up at them you could practically see thoughts running through his eyes yet they moved so fast; one would never be able to catch them. But I knew him too well for that; I'd spoken to Alice before and she had briefed me a little on this situation. Just saying that he was avoiding something. Laying there in the snow, with his messy bronze hair that seemed always styled that way but I knew better. Most human males would kill for their hair to go like that or to be as appealing to women as he was. His topaz eyes that sparkled under the moonlight and his skin that was just as silver as mine right now. He looked so peaceful laying there that I almost ran home to leave him where he was but I decided against it. I _needed_ to know.

Oh how my sisters loved to tease me about this. I craved to know _why. _Why did he reject my advances? Was there someone else? There couldn't be could there? I mean surely one of the Cullens would have told me if there was. There was no way he could have hidden a relationship from them, especially not Alice, was there? My sisters were right; I was becoming obsessive. But right now I didn't care. I _needed _to find out why he had rejected_ me._ It was like he was my heroin and I needed a fix;_ badly._ I couldn't possibly understand how this had happened. I had become the prey. I had become the prey to the beauty that is _Edward Cullen_ and I didn't know if I liked it or not.

Snapping out of my thoughts; I crouched down my fingers touching the rock, my body coiled on it. _Cannonball, _I thought and launched myself through the air. My shape becoming a dark, twisting shadow as I spun gracefully between him and the stars. I curled myself into a ball just as I struck the piled snow bank beside him.

A whiteout of snow started as I landed and that whiteout covered Edward. He stayed there; thinking about whatever he was trying to avoid going home to. I knew he was avoiding something back home; doing it for his family, he was selfless like that. But if you were to say that to him, he would disagree with you and call himself a monster. It's how he sees himself though I don't see how someone as perfect as him could ever possibly be a monster.

"Edward?" I called,

And then another mini snow storm formed as I gathered the snow I'd caused to land on him and unburied him. He stayed there with the same expression on his face as before. Laying there like I had not interrupted him at all and I just wasn't there. That hurt more than it should but I wouldn't let him know that.

I brushed some of the powder from his stone-like face, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Sorry" I murmured, "It was a joke."

"I know. It was funny" he answered in that smooth, velvet voice of his but something about it made it seem detached. Almost as cold as our bodies. I didn't like that; his voice wasn't meant to sound like that. Yes, it was still the same velvet voice but it seemed like a robot. I mentally sighed, even when he sounds like a robot, he still makes me swoon. I know my mouth twisted down though from the tone but I couldn't help it.

"Irina and Kate said I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you."

"Not at all," he assured me. "On the contrary, I'm the one who's being rude-abominably rude. I'm very sorry"

_Your going home aren't you?_ I thought, not having the courage to speak the thought aloud.

"I haven't… entirely… decided that yet." His voice sounded troubled, conflicted even.

_But you're not staying here._ My thoughts were becoming more wistful now and I; I was becoming sadder knowing they would never happen.

"No. It doesn't seem to be… helping"

I grimaced. "That's my fault, isn't it?"

"Of course not." He was a very capable liar. I almost believed him._ Almost. _If I had been a less capable liar then I might have, but I have had centuries perfecting the art of lying. So I knew when someone was lying. And _he_ was _lying_.

_Don't be a gentleman_. I said to him in my thoughts.

He smiled.

_I make you uncomfortable_, I accused of him.

"No."

I raised one eyebrow and gave him a look of utter disbelief. I guess something about that look amused him because he laughed. He sounded like he did before. His voice smooth and velvety; no longer detached but that laugh was soon followed by a sigh.

"Alright," he admitted. "A little bit"

I sighed too and put my chin in my hands. I knew my thoughts were becoming sad once more but I didn't care. As long as he knew I would always be here for him; that's what matters.

"You're a thousand times lovelier then the stars, Tanya. Of course, you're already well aware of that. Don't let my stubbornness undermine your confidence," he chuckled as if enjoying some private joke.

"I'm not used to rejection" I answered with a small push of my bottom lip out, playing the part of a sulky child; thinking of all of my many past conquests.

"Certainly not," he agreed.

"Succubus" he teased.

I grinned, flashing my teeth. "The original."

It was now or never I thought and I took the plunge…

"When you first showed up here," I said slowly. "I thought that…" I trailed off, too embarrassed to speak the rest of that sentence. But that didn't matter; he would know what I meant.

"You thought that I'd changed my mind," he finished for me.

"Yes." I scowled into the night, thinking of my foolishness.

"I feel horrible for toying with your expectations, Tanya. I didn't mean to – I wasn't thinking. It's just that I left in…quite a hurry." He answered.

"I don't suppose you'd tell me why…?" I probed, trying to get him to talk, careful to keep the fact from him that I knew most of the reason why and just wanted to be considered important enough for him to trust this in.

He sat up immediately, wrapped his arms and legs around himself; curling himself into a defensive position. "I don't want to talk about it," he answered in a stiff voice.

I decided to ignore his reluctance and said "Women troubles?" making it seem like I guessed.

He laughed a very bleak laugh, "Not the way you mean it."

I stayed quiet. Trying to decipher what he meant by that. I could tell he was listening to my thoughts. Seeing what I was thinking but I didn't care. I was intrigued now.

"You're not even close," he told me.

"One hint?" I asked for.

"Please. Let it go, Tanya"

I was quiet again; I started to speculate even more so now. He ignored me and after a silent moment. I gave up. My thoughts thinking of other things now.

_Where will you go, Edward, if you leave? Back to Carlisle? _I asked him silently.

"I don't think so," he whispered.

He sat there pondering looking so lost. I couldn't help but put my arm around him; trying to comfort him. He stiffened, but did not flinch under my touch.

"I think that you _will_ go back," I said to him "No matter what it is… or who it is… that is haunting you. You'll face it head on. You're the type." And I made sure my thoughts were as certain as my words and they were because I knew what I said was true_. He was the type._

He kissed my cheek, pulling back swiftly when I turned my face toward his. My lips already puckered. I smiled ruefully at his quickness.

"Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear that."

My thoughts turned more irritated because of that. "You're welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable about things, Edward" I said, partly irritated about his rejection.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. You know you're too good for me. I just… haven't found what I'm looking for yet."

"Well, if you leave before I see you again…. goodbye, Edward" I said to him.

"Goodbye, Tanya" he answered, "Thanks again."

I was on my feet in one swift, nimble movement. And then I was running. Running away from my heroin. I wouldn't let him see how much this hurt me. He really was my heroin fix. And I, I was just going to have to learn to live without it.


End file.
